WHY ARE WOMEN SO EMOTIONAL? ( Answers from a Therapist)

Personality

I joined an amazing Facebook group African Leading Ladies. It\’s a forum for open, healthy and forward-thinking types of conversations.

I love it and it\’s an amazing pool of information, resources and also networks.

A lady had shared her desire to pick an expert opinion on certain issues.

1. Why are women so emotional?
2. Mental health tips
3. Financial advice
4. Domestic violence
5. Sexual harassment
6. Family rivalry
7. Career challenges
8. Marriage challenges
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I will go through and research each topic and give as much information as I can for the topics.

For some, I can definitely consider myself expert opinion and some life has made me an expert by default.

I recently told my husband that I didn\’t know how to keep my mouth shut when I learn something new. I just have never known how to keep education to myself.

I am here for it and I thank God for it.

My first topic was something I had to do a little more investigation on.

Why are women more emotional than men?

I have always wondered why we are so different.

I grew up in a household with one other sibling who was male and I was female and the differences were marked.

When I got married and lived with my husband the differences were definitely unmistakable.

So why are we so different especially, emotionally…
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Here are some facts

1. Women are twice more likely to experience depression in comparison to men.

2. Women experience emotions more intensely than men and this includes elation, gratitude, peace, calmness. So they get a good dose of the good stuff too, not just the negative emotions.

3. Men score much lower than women when it comes to the Emotional Intelligence scorecard.

4. Men have been known to show more cognitive flexibility, problem-solving and resilience skills than their female counterparts.

5. Contrary to popular opinion, anything we need to learn or unlearn can be targeted using intentional CBT and NEUROPLASTICITY.

So why is the difference so marked.

1. EVOLUTION – Darwin\’s theory is that during evolution the strongest and most often used traits survive. The more useful tools become more prominent and those that aren\’t in use can become obsolete if extinct.

Due to our roles over time, like giving birth, nurturing and home caretaking our emotional brain continued to evolve and become more prominent. We needed these evolutionary skills to be better at our designed roles. Men were hunters and protectors and with that the bonding, socialisation and emotional part of their brain was less utilised and slowly got less prominent.

2. SOCIALISATION – We all belong in a community. In the communities of upbringing, certain ideology was put on us. Whether directly or indirectly. Emotional responses have been more encouraged on women than in men. And the Darwinian theory still applies. If socially it\’s more accepted to be emotional for women, then women will develop more expressional emotional behaviour than men, who are culturalised different. Which may include masking said emotions. They slowly become so ingrained that it\’s more natural.

3. PHYSICAL – Interesting fact, Women have a higher nerve density than men. Therefore we experience physical pain a lot more intense than men.

We can also note that women are more willing to experience pain, including physical pain due to a good production of oxytocin ( our bonding hormone) especially for our young ones, and even more markedly during labour and giving birth.

4. PSYCHOLOGICAL – Neuroimaging shows that women utilise the parts of their brain that have mirror neurons more often than men. It\’s more automated in women. Therefore they feel more empathy ( the ability to view the world from another person\’s perspective). So women can experience other people\’s emotions with more ease.

5. PHYSIOLOGY – women produce more of certain hormones and neurotransmitters that are responsible for emotional responses.

Men have hormones like testosterone etc that may even restrict the production of hormones like oxytocin which is responsible for bonding and socialisation.

Until their levels of testosterone go lower ( introduction of vasopressin) then bonding and socialisation may not come up naturally. I talk about this a little more on (this blog)

Despite the fact that men have higher resilience, cognitive flexibility and problem solving; these skills can be learned by teaching, modelling and curating.

Despite the fact that women experience empathy and bonding more automatically; men can curate this behaviour as well with habit and intention.

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Embracing our differences while loving each other\’s uniqueness is definitely a plus.

Being more emotional is not a weakness, we learn how to harness it.

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