| In the recent past, there has been a drastic reduction of resilient adults and an increase in suicidal ideation, anxiety and depression, especially amongst young people.
This can be sourced from lack of, or insufficient resilience among the youth of today. Now more than ever with the existence of social media there is increased pressure on young people to succeed, to look a certain way, or to live a certain life. The constant comparison and competition due to the fact that everyone is living for the gram, seeking to impress, there is a very present need for young people to be resilient. Yes resilience can be learnt as we grow older but I am of the opinion that it is better addressed when our children are still young as a preparation tool for adulthood and their future.
Parenting is a never-ending journey. But being an intentional parent allows one to bear fruit as a parent to a responsible, caring and resilient adult. If you are raising or are looking forward to raising a resilient teen or adolescent in preparation to become a resilient adult; then these are very important tips to help you achieve that.
The following are qualities parents should strive to instil in their children in order to make them resilient:
1.Emphasis on creating healthy relationships
A lot of social issues can be sourced from relational problems, a resilient adult should be able to identify what is good for them, know what to expect and how to enforce boundaries; and a good self-reflection system.
Teaching children social skills, effective communication and emotional intelligence will boost their ability to be resilient. It is as well important to help them know how to identify healthy relationships in order for them to provide that to others and to know what to expect from others. A lot of social issues can be sourced from relational problems, a resilient adult should be able to identify what is good for them, know what to expect and how to enforce boundaries and a good self-reflection system.
2. Creating a good relationship with failure
Teaching our children, that failure is not a destination or I reflection of what to expect but rather a necessary and very important part of the journey. Teaching them to learn lessons from failure and not to assume the worst about failure. Teaching them to as well adventure into activities without the fear of failure.
3. INDEPENDENT BRAINSTORMING AND PROBLEM-SOLVING
When children experience a problem, rather than finding solutions for them, teach them as early as possible to cultivate the ability for them to find solutions through problem-solving skills. Walk them through the problem-solving process and supervise them as they find their own solutions to their problems. Guide them where they may need some guidance, but always allow them to be independently responsible for their own solutions.
4. Allow your children to experience repercussions for their actions.
It is difficult to watch our children suffer, even when the suffering is as a result of choices they have made, but it is key not to take away the repercussions of the actions so as for them to learn first hand about action and consequence. When they are consciously aware that their actions have consequences, they are able to navigate their lives with wisdom about repercussions.
5. Emphasize on follow through honesty and integrity.
Resilient adults are known for their ability to keep their word regardless of their personal feelings or inconvenience. Thus it\’s a great attribute to teach children so that they can learn how to be relied upon when they make a promise or a commitment. It allows your children to live beyond their feelings.
6. Coping skills
Due to the fact that we are created as emotional beings. It is important not to teach them to be controlled by the emotions or even to never acknowledge their emotions, but rather to have the proper coping skills, to handle whatever comes at them as healthily as possible. These coping skills include but are not limited to mindfulness, journaling and meditation.
7. Encourage them to partake in activities out of their comfort zones.
Instead of the limited view that to be successful at something will require it to come easily to you, they are able to realize that in order to achieve certain goals, they will be required, to create a healthy relationship with hard work and surpassing difficulty.
8. Healthy criticism
By exposing your children to healthy criticism, you help them develop a positive relationship with their limitations and their ability to be corrected. When they enter the real world they are ready for both healthy criticism and unhealthy criticism and can sift out the difference between the two. This allows them to not be overly sensitive to negative things that are thrown at them out there. It also allows them to respond positively to constructive criticism.
9. Passion
Let them get accustomed to picking their own interests. Passion is a necessary part of survival and it is important for children to have a method of knowing what drives them, what interests them and choosing that for themselves. When they pick out their own passions they are able to stick it out and persist on activities that they have chosen for themselves. They are also to be held accountable for their choices
10. Encourage responsibility in increments
Knowing that your children cannot learn responsibility overnight, requires you, to teach them lessons in responsibility and watching them slowly mature into each level of responsibility. Supervising every responsibility given to them so as to evaluate their preparation for the next level of responsibility.
11. Growth mindset
Teach your children to embrace a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset. A growth mindset teaches that talent, skills and abilities can be nurtured through continued effort, persistence and seeking to be informed.
A fixed mindset limits their cognitive beliefs to think that skills and abilities are constant and unamendable and are impossible to be cultivated.
12.. Congratulate effort rather than accomplishment
When you put emphasis on effort, it creates a cognitive process of rewarding hard work rather than acknowledging the level of achievement. It allows these young people to develop a thought process where they respect the process of growth rather than a destined or destination of success.
13. Accountability
A lot of young people are not expected to be accountable to anyone, as a result, they grow up not knowing that life can only give to them as they are giving back to it.
Some non-negotiable according to your value system with your children, such that they know that there are certain expectations of them.
14. Modelling good behaviour
Keep being intentional in modelling good behaviour. Your children will watch you more than they will listen to you. How you handle the ups and downs of life will teach your children how to handle their own lives. Improve on your own personal resilience because that is the most important way your children will learn from you.
15. Affirmations
Keep affirming your beliefs and dreams for your children. Express a strong faith in their ability to handle whatever comes at them in life.
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Great great tips, awesome read…I’ll be sure to practice these..