STOP THE CYCLE – TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST

This post on Facebook got me to feel the need to emphasize something I have said way too often – The Importance of seeking a professional therapist to help stop the cycle of abuse. I have no problem speaking on it again.

We need to stop the cycle.
\”Stop the cycle of abuse
Stop the cycle of anger
Stop the cycle of co-dependence and narcissistic tendencies
Stop the cycle of transferred trauma
The buck has to stop with you.\”

Before we get into any types of situations, any social situations we should seek out self-awareness. Find out what trauma or what baggage we have carried from our childhood or from our previous relationships.

Trauma recovery is entirely possible. Therapy directed to handling trauma recovery is the best bet.

But let\’s start with the basics.

What is trauma?

Psychological trauma is injury ( chemical and emotional) that happens as a result of a stressful event or experience that is way more extreme than the person\’s body or mind is capable of handling. They, as a result, have difficulty coping.
Trauma exhibits itself as psychological and physical symptoms.
Highly sensitive people have more obvious symptoms and are more susceptible to trauma.

Despite that, there are people who react to trauma by avoidance and numbness and that isn\’t healthy either.
Trauma can be considered in many ways
Some of them include;
Financial trauma, childhood trauma ( sexual, physical, bullying), relationship trauma ( from toxic relationships) and many others 🤭

Examples;
1. Loss ( of a loved one, a friend or even a very close family pet)

2. Bullying – being mistreated physically, emotionally and socially is a very big trauma source. Can be bullying sourced from the home or at school

3. Unfair treatment – being picked on by people in authority or being ignored by our guardians or having other people ( siblings and peers) consistently favoured over you.

4. Witnessing and Experiencing physical abuse – watching our loved ones or people around us getting physically abused. Also experiencing physical abuse first hand.
Violent outbursts in relationships

5. Emotionally distant or neglectful parents/guardians. – Children need nurturing, they need affirmation and they need attention especially in their formative years. Denial of these is a source of trauma.

6. Sexual trauma or sexual abuse – children, both male and female, under the age of 18 are incapable of giving consent, they do not have the emotional intelligence or the prudence required to handle such responsibility so sexual acts at this age automatically go into the category of abuse especially if performed by an adult. Sexual abuse is considered any sexual encounter where the victim did not give consent or was not able to issue consent. It includes non-consensual touching, groping and as well inappropriate speech. It consists of the sexual act itself.

What are the effects of trauma?

Physical symptoms 🤢
Aches, pains, and inflammation. They can be as severe as heart attacks, arthritis, weakened immune system and also anxiety attacks.
Physical reactions to emotional triggers. After trauma, our bodies can react physically to memories triggered by something in the present. Example, smells can trigger nausea, a memory can trigger chest pain, even shaking.

Dissociation
Because of the overproduction of adrenaline and cortisol. Your brain chemistry becomes completely altered. It introduces dissociation whose symptoms range from forgetfulness, brain fog, to frustration and mood swings
A complete separation of mind and body. Where it almost feels like you are watching life happening to you with no actual connection to your life.

Aggression, Picking fights and Risky behaviour
Have you seen people who have no control over their anger? They seem angry consistently.
Trauma will cause you to feel the need to do almost anything to feed the feelings especially for those who experience numbness

Substance abuse
Addiction has a direct co-relation to childhood trauma and even later life trauma.
\”People use substances to avoid reality. When their reality is so dreary\”

Shame and Guilt and Low self-esteem

Codependency and Narcissism – these two behavioural issues are sourced from traumatic experiences. ( I will dive into them in a second article)

Trust issues – post-trauma the body and the brain have had their Confidence broken. They choose to believe no one even those who do love them. It becomes hard to believe people\’s capability to be good or your  deserving of their goodness

What is trauma recovery ?

Trauma recovery is done with the assistance of a professional THERAPIST. It\’s a process where using imaginal exposure-based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a professional therapist can assist their client to first, figure out the source of the trauma ie the traumatic event. Knowing the traumatic event or experience allows one to acknowledge that the trauma is responsible for any emotional or physical responses they experience.

Second, Imaginal exposure therapy allows the professional therapist to guide the client to take themselves mentally back to the event they experienced and in a nutshell find a process to destroy its power over the present.
The third step is to collaborate with the client on how to develop coping skills when the person\’s traumatic event is triggered.
The coping tools are in a range they are applied depending on preference, gender, culture and belief system.

something extra….

A good professional therapist needs
1. To provide a safe and confidential environment
2. Take into consideration and account for their client\’s gender, religion and belief system.
3. To collaborate with you on your journey. A gentle guide and not a dictator as to what you need to do.
4. To make each and every one of your feelings validated.
5. To make you feel empowered.
6. Be patient with yourself. The journey is slow and continues it\’s a marathon. You get to the finish line when you are ready.

Remember that in today\’s society it is easier to find a unicorn than it is to find a human who has no trauma… There are too many sources for it but reality is the cycle has been allowed to continue for way too long. Choose to heal for your own sake, seek to heal for your children\’s sake, and also for all of the world around.
Our generation is super woke and always open to ideas therapy and trauma recovery should be smack at the centre. Learning emotional intelligence and proper coping mechanisms is necessary for a stable society.

For my virtual talk therapy ( Trauma recovery, Anxiety and Depression Awareness and Life Coaching sessions )
Here are the links
(https://wa.link/62rgtm)
You can make an online appointment as well through our booking page